I find myself so distracted.

So many notifications, new toys, smart phones, better phones

But there are these moments of clarity I have every so often

“I have life, I can breathe”

is a line in one of my favorite worship songs

because we take everything for granted.

I find myself so wrapped up in what I’m doing, what degree I’m pursuing, trying to figure out what I’m minoring in..

that I forget it doesn’t really matter what I’m doing

it matters who I am, and how I’m treating others.

I’m so tired. This is more of a journal entry than a blog

I miss camp. I miss how simple everything was.

I mean it wasn’t, but I was. There were less distractions for sure.

I worked harder than I’ve worked in my entire life this summer, but I still wasn’t prepared to come back to school. It’s a different kind of work.

At camp, you’re doing manual labor, and working to remember that you’re doing it all for God’s glory.

At school, you’re doing mental labor, and working to remember it’s not all about you.

It’s easy to get caught up in ourselves when we’re in such a self-saturated culture. An individualistic culture that takes everything for granted.

I need to make it a daily habit to remember. Remember why I’m doing the things I’m doing, remember to look up off my phone while I’m rushing to my next thing on my Google Cal.

To take time out of my day to talk to people, really talk to them. To look in their eyes and mean everything I say, and to think about what I’m saying instead of just saying something so I can get to my next appointment or meeting.

The word “intentional” is thrown out a lot. It means deliberate; done on purpose.

That means remembering the stuff I take for granted. It means not going through the motions – going to class, then chapel, then class, then a one-on-one, etc.

Don’t get me wrong, all those things are great – but I just so often find myself getting through it instead of realizing the real purpose and the real privilege I hold.

Sure, I’m racking up a ton of debt, but I prefer not to think about that for now.

I’m investing in my education so I can be better equipped to share the love of Christ and to help people in the skills that God has gifted me in. God has also given me a great love of learning.

I love being challenged. Hearing a viewpoint I’ve never heard before. Even being criticized by others is something I’m becoming accustomed to, because if I’m going to be a writer, I have to get used to people not liking what I’m writing. That’s the risk I take when publishing my personal thoughts for the world to see.

And I’m okay with that risk,  because I know why I’m writing. To try to encourage others the best I can. To encourage others to live a purposeful, engaged life – because any other way of living isn’t really living.

And most importantly, to do it all out of my love for Jesus Christ my Savior, the one who created it all. I don’t pretend to completely understand my faith, because it doesn’t make sense. And I don’t think it’s supposed to. But that’s the point of faith – it transcends reason, because life transcends reason.



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