thoughts on relationships

I think it would be silly to try to define love or put it in a box.

I think it can be both a feeling and a choice.

So how does one know when he or she is ready for a relationship?

I think the answer to that question very well might be never.

I’ve had wise people speak to me about how relationships are simply doing life with each other. There’s not some standard you have to reach in order to be “ready” to be in a relationship. The point is to grow and learn and be with someone who you care about and who you choose to be with.

But I don’t think anyone is ever fully ready to trust someone not to hurt them – because that’s the thing about love and relationships. It’s never a guarantee.

We don’t have the luxury of knowing how things will end up, but we do have the luxury of free will and being able to choose.

The problem really lies with trust though, doesn’t it? Trust issues. People hurt us. People leave us. Repeatedly. The fact that we’re even able to trust another human at all is remarkable.

So I think trust is a thing that can’t be rushed. You have to build that up over time, and make the decision to choose one other.

But that’s the problem, too – it’s a choice. Which means you can choose not to trust anyone, not to allow yourself to fall in love, because you’ve been hurt too much. Fear can take the reins of your life and you’ll have to fight like hell against it. It’s an uphill battle, a choice we make everyday.

But you can’t force people to fight or to love, to trust or to open up. It is up to each individual to make that choice for themselves.

Which is amazing but also sucks because I wish I could show you I’m never going to leave you or stop caring about you. And I will show you that over time.

But it’s a two-way street. It takes two – for relationships to start, to continue, to thrive, to fail. So I choose you and will continue to choose you, whether you’re ready for a relationship or not. Now it’s your turn to choose.

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