I looked all around me to see hands in the air, eyes closed, heads bowed.
I stood in chapel, looking around me, wondering why I was there. How I fit into this world.
Last year was different. Last year I tried to belong. But I finally stopped trying
And once that happened, I began to see how other people were trying, too
Trying to find the meaning in it all, trying to understand .
I sang along to some of the verses, skipping the ones that didn’t make sense to me anymore.
I got out of my row of friends to go sit on the side by myself. I wasn’t planning to stay for the speaker, just for the music. But I decided to wait, for some reason.
I finally walked out when the speaker mentioned how most of the people in the room were evangelicals. I couldn’t
I immediately felt a weight fly off of my shoulders the second I walked out. Relief. And sadness, that I felt relief at leaving a place I used to get relief from.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me.