She wiggles her toes, trying to shake off the heaviness
bearing down on her like a crashing wave.
She wishes and prays to be free from the madness;
that nagging, clawing, scratching feeling,
that nothing she does is good enough.
She feels her shadows and ghosts creep alongside her by day
and by night, they attack in her dreams.
They hold her down and drown her when she awakes
forcing her to hit the snooze button just one more time.
But she fights. She fights with all her might
because she has people telling her she can do it.
But when those voices stop, and her shadows appear
she can’t help but turn a listening ear
to the lies they love to tell.
And even though she knows they’re lies,
her mind still latches on
and plays them over and over
until she questions and doubts
if there is any truth.
What’s wrong with me? she thinks
Why can’t I just be normal?
The assignments pile up as the anxiety rises
And she starts to shut down inside, bit by bit
until something tips her over the edge
and all of a sudden, she’s fallen, she’s broken
Her demons are laughing and prodding her on
until she’s laid down, beaten in the shower.
The devil sent her his own personal demon
in the form of a man who took away her strength
But she can’t be beaten.
There’s a spirit that lives inside her
that just won’t seem to die.
It drives the devil crazy,
and as much as he tries
she CAN’T lose all hope
because hope is at her core
She takes a breath
and lifts her head up high
Not today, devil –