back, way back

Warning: This is going to be a montage of all my scrambled thoughts, a tribute to my first blog post.

I’m back in the place where it first started.

Quixotic Coffee, the site where I wrote my first blog post, “babbling” on Jan. 14, 2016.

Oh, how things have changed.

From the leader of our country to the Twitter word count limit…our world is quite different.

And from my major to my theology, I am quite a different person.

but some things haven’t changed, like my constant questioning. I have a few awesome professors, friends and family members who encourage me to never lose that sense of wonder about the world.

I’m still a human (surprise, surprise), consistently getting caught up in the mundane tasks and forgetting the small things found in the every day that make life worth living.

I’m in counseling now, working through my anxiety and depression and learning to cope. I’m getting better, but it’s not easy.

It’s my last year at Bethel. I’ll spend next fall in New York at King’s College, working at an internship and learning as much as I possibly can. The plan is to graduate Dec. 2018.

I’m still procrastinating my homework, except this time it’s for my senior research seminar in English rather than a philosophy paper.

But I get it done, and I try to enjoy my life in the meantime. which i think is probably important

but it is hard to focus, even on the important stuff, when the rain outside the window and the flashing lights of the Highland theater look so pretty in the night. but maybe that is some of the important stuff.

I want to keep getting better at the art of observation. the art of hanging out

because that’s how I’ll become a better journalist, and just a better human

taking notice. paying attention

while not getting down on myself when i zone out, thinking about epistemology and metaphysics.

gosh, I miss philosophy classes sometimes. But I’m someone who loves learning a little bit about everything, never quite becoming an “expert” at any one thing.

“A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.”

So that means I can appear scatterbrained, unfocused, lazy to some, even.

but in reality, I just like learning what I want to learn. I don’t like being told what to do, what to learn, or what to believe.

And I honestly don’t know where I’m going to end up after graduation, but I’ve learned that’s okay – the only thing you can do with life is just go with it.

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